Back To Blog

How To Enjoy The Family Vacation

Betsy ChassePost, Uncategorized

Having fun is one of the most important things you can really do. It’s a step to awakening, to enlightenment, and a huge part of having a fulfilled existence. Because without fun, we begin to feel sad and feel cheated in this human experience. We’re here to have some fun in the middle of the chaos that we find in our lives. And sometimes we have to really focus and put an intention into just having fun. We have to put it on our schedule and block out two hours for fun. It’s very, very important, because when you’re having fun, your entire physiological system relaxes, anxiety goes away, stress goes away, and you’re living the experience of being here on the third dimension in a very satisfying way for your soul.

 

For the past few weeks I’ve been going over how our soul is here to have an experience to evolve and to grow. It’s actually our job and our duty to ask our soul, “What do you want? What do you need so that you can have this satisfying human experience?” Because we are spirit, we are soul, having this human experience and it’s a wonderful experience—or at least it can be a wonderful experience.

 

That’s what we’re  here to do right now. We’re all here to re-think, to reimagine our life, to set our next intention so that our world can be a more satisfying, deeper, richer world of more fun and less worry. So where do we begin? Well, let’s start with our family, because friction in the family started all the way back with Cain and Abel. Right? So, the family unit is essentially sacred. It is the unit which is the tool of divine intention for us to learn intimacy, for us to learn deep connection. Any way you cut it, even if you are estranged from a family member (and I’m going to talk about that in the next two weeks), there’s still this physiological, energetic connection. It can just be a bear, can’t it? Because our family experience lives on inside of us.

 

“I can’t get my mother out of my head!” You know how that is. Or maybe you think, “I can’t get my dad out of my head!” That’s how it goes. And then we go out and start a new family of our own!

 

So, let’s talk fun and family and start with how to have fun on family summer vacations. First of all, set your intention before you take your vacation. What a concept! We set our intention for business, for work, for things we want to manifest  … but set our intention for our family and what kind of vacation we want? Who does that?

 

Share your intention with the other people in your family. Call them and say, “Let’s set a family intention. Let’s come together and hold hands before we embark on our journey. Let’s set an intention of what we want to get out of this vacation.” Be specific. If you have children, ask them “What do you want?” And if they hesitate, say, “You know what you want. Just look in your heart and you will know.”

 

The second step is to jot the family’s overall intention down on a pad or in notes on your phone. And the reason you jot it down is because tomorrow everybody’s going to forget about their intention. That’s just the way it is, unfortunately. And if you have it written down you can check back. And you want this because remember, friction is going to come up in a vacation. It always does! All of a sudden everyone’s thrown together in a little cabin somewhere in a different place, or a family member shows up you haven’t seen in a year. They’ll be some friction.

 

When that happens, you want to look back at your intention and remind your family, “Oh! Remember our intention! Let’s approach this situation—whether it’s a rupture or disagreement— from that intention.” For example, say your group intention on this vacation is to have a whole lot of fun and become closer as a family. That’s a great intention for a vacation. So, when a disagreement comes up, you can bring it back up. “Look, I wrote it down. Remember? Our intention was to really have fun and get closer.” And it doesn’t  have to be you doing this. You can give one your kids the job, or make somebody else the intention holder of the tribe.

 

When somebody gets out of line say, “Hey, remember that intention?” By doing this you automatically shift the energy of the disagreement back into the focus of the higher frequency of why you are together. And that takes the steam and the charge off of whatever the emotional disturbance has been. This is very important. I learned this from my rabbi: When you have a disagreement, the first thing that has to happen is the emotional charge must be lifted. Because when you’re in intense emotion and intense reaction, it’s very hard to access wisdom and understanding for the healing process to happen.

 

After you’ve reminded everyone of the intention, let the charge kind of burn off. Give it some space before you go to process whatever the disagreement has been. It’s important and necessary to allow the emotional response to be lifted before you can truly process to heal. Because when you try to process while in that emotional charge, most of the time the emotional charge just gets bigger and bigger and bigger like a mushroom, and what started as a little disagreement ends up being a giant disagreement. By acknowledging what your group intention was for the vacation, you take the emotional charge away because you’re reminding everybody in your family of the higher state of consciousness you were all in when everyone was connected.

 

So, that’s the second thing you want to do when those disturbances happen. Say, “Let’s all take a timeout until we calm down.” Go take a walk, or go to prepare food, do something. Let’s all just take a breath.” Because a breath means a disengagement after there’s been a disruption. By taking a moment of time you actually allow your spiritual guides and the energy of the angelic kingdom and your soul to have the space to come in and help start the healing process. Say, “Okay, let’s take ten, before we reconvene.” And set a time to come back together.

 

When you come back together again, again acknowledge your original intention. Then begin a dialogue very simply, like, “This how I felt. This is what I heard, and this is why I felt hurt.” Stay away from saying things like, “You did this and you did that,” because that just tends to push buttons. Stick with how you feel. The hope is that you get through the disagreement into a place of saying, “I am sorry, please forgive me.” And “I accept your forgiveness. We’re good to go.” That’s the place you want to get to.

 

You know, every family is kind of given one Watcher. And the Watcher is the person who’s really dedicated to higher consciousness and spirituality. Like it or not, if you are the Watcher, then you are the true leader of your family. It doesn’t  mean you need to control anybody or anything. It doesn’t  mean that you need to point out  everyone’s flaws. It just simply means  because you have a dedication to spirituality and spiritual practice, that you are the appointed torch—the light to help, to assist, in your family … your soul pod. That’s my new word for a family group (related or not!) from the  dolphins, the Dolphin pod. You’re the one up front saying, “Hey let’s go this way in the ocean. Or let’s swim that way,” because you can see farther down the line. You have the intuition. Now, this doesn’t mean the other people in your family will look up to you or respect you for having that spiritual wisdom or that intuitive knowing. We can’t ever think that we’re going to get any kind of kudos or recognition for our position. Just understand that part of your purpose here in life is to be the guide so that your family can have an illuminating experience and a fun experience.

 

Now, when there’s been a disruption and after everyone has been reminded of the intention they set and there’s been a time of forgiveness and letting go, then you want to say, “Hey guys, so what did we learn here?” Share about what you learned about yourself. If you have children  or young people along, ask, “Okay, what did you learn from this? How do you think we can get back to our intention of having fun on this vacation?”

 

This little process seems so simple, but it’s actually miraculous. It has given my family and me incredible experiences of healing when there were disruptions that I never thought we’d get over. I grew up in an Irish Catholic family with a true Irish hot-tempered dad and a lot of very intense people. And there were definitely times I thought, “We’re not going to make it. We’re going to all be estranged.” And yet even though we’ve been through some harrowing experiences—especially during vacations—we kept it together  and we went deeper and learned more.

 

It’s the same with my current family. And it can be the same with any family group or soul pod.  We all live complicated lives and have more than one family. We sometimes have adopted families when people come together to make their own family. And we can get hurt in these situations just as easily—hurt by a friend or sometimes we lose our friends. My purpose with all of this is to let you know that you can avoid losing your friends and/or your family. That there’s actually a way that you can heal and take a higher road and be a leader so that you keep your friends and keep your family intact. And that’s really a very noble cause that’s extraordinarily important. Because remember, we’re all here, working to end war and expand our spiritual movement. And truly the way to end war on this planet is to end the wars within our families. This goes right back to the foundation of who we are and the importance of ending the war inside of us.

 

Because we are the microcosm of the macrocosm. You are the drop of water in the ocean. When you end the internal war, then you can have true peace in your family. You—your drop of water in the great ocean of our human family—you become a catalyst of change. You are now radiance and that’s what radiance means—it’s a term from physics that says an energy which is a force of its own expands its energy like the Sun. That’s what you become when you heal the disturbances within yourself and the disturbances with those you think you love. You become an energy of radiance that does affect the global field—an energy of radiance that will help make a difference to bring peace here into our world. And today I think everyone can agree that we need peace. We need peace in a great way. It’s essentially necessary for us to find more peace in our life.

 

So, let’s recap these short steps. 1) To have fun on your family vacation, set your intention for the vacation. 2) Write the group intention down and have somebody in your tribe, your family, your pod, be the intention keeper to remind people. 3) When there is a disturbance, bring the intention right back to the group’s attention. 4) After everyone has acknowledged the original intention, everyone take some space until things have cooled down and set a time to reconvene. 5) Come back together to have a conversation about what happened. Say “This is what I experienced.” Try to stay away from blame and “You did this and you did that.” Take responsibility for your own emotions and role in the disturbance. 6) Ask for healing. Ask for forgiveness. Extend forgiveness. 7) Finally, ask what did we learn from this?

 

It’s very simple, but I promise, this will help you to be free inside so that you can have a wonderful experience this summer or anytime with your family. If you use this simple tool you will then have an incredibly fun vacation with a lot of breadth inside of you without the burden and the weight of holding and experiencing a lot of negative emotions. You know what I’m talking about—when you’re just acting like you’re having fun but inside you’re just kind of shut down and turning away. And that’s no fun at all.

 

Now, I’d like to offer a prayer.

Gently watch your breath and bring your mind into your heart. And in your heart see a luminous white rose … so beautiful. It’s such a beautiful rose. And now see that this beautiful rose is a bouquet of roses. And each rose is a member of your family. Just look at this bouquet as the Silent Watcher and engage your imagination. What color rose is each person in your family? Look at the beauty and the simplicity of this bouquet of roses, your family, your soul pod. And now see that this beautiful bouquet of roses is in a vase, and the vase is your entire belly. Your abdomen is a clear beautiful vase of crystal clear water and the water is pure light, beautiful light. And this light in your belly is nourishing this bouquet of your family.

 

And from this place of peace say, Beloved Presence, All That Is, I ask that you bless my family, and bless my friends. Angels of Light, help us to become the beauty that we truly are in this family. Help to guide us, lead us, show us the way because we are so human and we don’t always have the answers for peace and for love. Beloved Presence, All That Is, shine your magnificent rays of love into my family. Bless everyone in my family. Help my family to overcome the inner obstacles and the places of sabotage and misunderstanding. Beloved Presence, you are grace. Grace come, grace be with us at all times. Grace guide us for a wonderful experience of transformation and healing and joy and fun in my family.

 

Now send this beautiful prayer into our world, blessing all families as great orbs of light, as millions and millions and millions of roses spread throughout the globe. Bless all families to heal so that our world truly becomes one family, a global family of peace and light and joy and happiness.