Today, I’m going to talk about anger. As I’ve said before, anger is something I’ve really had to deal with. I am quick to trigger and it really doesn’t take much for me to get angry. Along my course of study and in my spiritual awakening, this anger dissipated. It went away and I went into this field of calm and peace and oneness. And I was like, “Wow! That’s pretty amazing. How do I keep this?”
The peacefulness stayed around for a while, but trust me, eventually the anger came back. So, what I’d like to share with you today are some of the tips and tools for dealing with anger that I’ve learned and used. And I’d like to talk a little about why we have anger in our human experience in the first place.
Anger is misplaced power. It is the misplaced energy of the life force and the power of your ability to build, to create, to have a desire and make it happen. We all, every single one of us, are born with that power which, by the way, is a masculine power because it is about action. I’m not talking about gender in this moment, though I will get to that conversation about men in a moment. I’m talking about the energetics of the masculine polarity of the life force. Masculine energy is action, and this is very clearly laid out in the mystical Kabbalah, which is probably some ten thousand years old. So, this power that we innately have, that we are born with, has the ability to create either the building blocks of what we want to do or it has the ability to destroy what we want to do. We are all born with this dichotomy in us, because we were born human and innately, as a human, we are broken. We are not perfect. We have the light and the dark within us. We have our good side and we have our not-so-good side.
Now, anger, in itself, is not bad. So, let’s start by lifting the judgment off of it. And there are many different kinds of anger. Anger is not always visible. There’s cold anger, there’s calculating anger, there is detached anger. And we know what that looks like! Today there are people making decisions—leaders in the world—making decisions that are extraordinarily harmful. And they talk about it as if it’s just business. They have no emotion.
So, anger does not necessarily have emotion attached to it. I’d like you to think about that for a minute. Because anger is a presence. It’s a presence that either can encompass you and overwhelm you, or you can learn from it. You can learn how to be the master of this energy. And in so doing you can feel and reclaim your true power, your spiritual power, your mystical power, your power as a superhero—the power to create and build what you’re here to do, the power to set your purpose in motion.
Because you came in with a very specific purpose. You had a plan. You said, “I have X amount of years to do this and I’m going to do this and this and this. And then you discovered, “Whoops, I see there are going to be some obstacles I’m going to have to learn how to get through in order to achieve my goal.” We all have this—every single person has a desire, a purpose for being here. And anger, many times, is the fuel behind having that purpose manifest.
So, let’s talk about the different kinds of anger. There is righteous anger and righteous anger is the passion to stand up for justice, for truth, to make right what is wrong, to have your voice heard, to have the energy to push through obstacles, to make truth, virtue, and value seen again and actually to win. To win for truth, ethics, value, virtue—that’s righteous anger. But righteous anger is a sword, a sword can tip. That sword can turn and become a blade and become toxic anger. And that’s what we want to be very aware of right now as we embark on healing and saving our world.
As we embark upon standing up for justice, saying “No! This is the 21st century. This is what we stand for! We will not tolerate anything else!” We want to be very careful that this righteous anger doesn’t turn and become toxic anger. Because toxic anger does not create, it destroys—and not in the good sense. Righteous anger will destroy evil, hate, violence, and intolerance because righteous anger comes from the foundation of compassion, understanding, and wisdom. Righteous anger is fully tethered to powerful wisdom.
When righteous anger shifts and becomes toxic anger, you have just severed your power from your greatest source: your own soul, your God power. And that toxic anger has a life of its own. It begins to make its own decisions. It begins to charge ahead, leaving the ship, leaving you behind and lots of people fall under its weight. It is essential now, essential that we all expand our consciousness and be the people that we are born to be in this time in the 21st century. We have learned so much through thousands of years of many, many lives. It is now time to proceed with wisdom. It is now time to proceed with compassion and use the power of anger as it was meant to be used: as a creative force—as the life force—as the force that transforms, the force that changes, the force that parts the Red Sea.
I guarantee you, when Moses was at the Red Sea with Aaron and Miriam, he did not say, “Oh, Red Sea, will you kindly part? Would you like to part? That might be kind of fun.” No. He pointed with his staff and commanded, “Red Sea, part!” And you have that power too. We all have a Red Sea in our lives, something that we have to part. Especially today.
On the other hand, the effects of toxic anger are detrimental to your health. Toxic anger is an energy that is a black hole. It’s a sinkhole. It actually doesn’t create. You think it creates. But your effectiveness is actually decreasing. It is your undoing. So, toxic anger is something you want to be very, very aware of. And the way you can determine whether your anger is toxic or whether your anger is righteous anger, is very simple. There are a few questions to ask yourself as part of a mindfulness practice.
When you feel the anger come up, when you’re in this Silent Watcher mode and you feel anger coming, stop and observe. Is this anger tied to something petty? Maybe you didn’t get peanut butter on the toast you wanted. Or maybe you got honey instead of agave syrup on your pancakes. And then you get mad at the waitress. That’s toxic anger. Any kind of anger that’s tied to something mundane and petty, that’s toxic anger.
Now, you may think, “That’s no big deal. Everybody gets angry.” But I’m here to tell you not everybody gets angry over such things. I’m here to tell you that moments of toxic anger like that add up over the years and they will make you sick. I’ve been a healer for over 15 years. I worked with my mother at 16 as she overcame terminal cancer and lived 13 years longer than was expected. I know what I’m talking about. In this, I’m an expert. I know that toxic anger causes your system to break down and that it causes the system of other people around you to break down. When someone is filled with toxic anger, you want to get out of the way. You want to give yourself permission to leave, permission to say, “I’m going to leave now. I’m going to turn off the TV. I’m going to turn off the radio. I cannot—I will not—listen to this, I will not be a part of this.”
Now, that kind of response to toxic anger is righteous—it is righteous anger. Simply don’t allow yourself to receive someone else’s toxic anger because it is detrimental to you and to the person who is exposing you to that energy field. And by listening to their toxicity, by taking it in, by allowing it into you, you’re not only not serving yourself, you are condoning their bad behavior. In essence, you’re saying, “It’s okay for you to vomit a destructive force all over me.” But it’s not okay. It’s not okay for anyone to pour that kind of energy into you. You are worth more. You are holy. You are noble. You are a creation of the perfection of all that is. You are a messenger of light and it is not okay for anyone to spill their toxic anger, their unconsciousness, upon you any more than it would be okay to take black paint and throw it on the Mona Lisa in the Louvre. You must learn to honor yourself in respect to what we will receive and what you won’t receive in life.
Now I’m going to talk about gender. Man’s physiology, the way he’s built, his brain, the whole package, he’s holding masculine power and that power is active. Remember, masculine power untethered to wisdom, compassion, and understanding becomes toxic anger. Let that sink in. As a man, physiologically, the way your brain is put together, the way your bodies are orchestrated with your consciousness, your mind, it was created to hold the masculine energy. Therefore, this power is right there with you, very palpable. And if this power of yours is not rooted to wisdom, compassion, and understanding, your power becomes toxic anger. I really want to say here how tragic it is and heartbreaking to see the violence, the destruction, placed into our world through that masculine energy. I also want to say that that’s a very small part of a man. Most guys, the majority, are really amazing. You’re cool, you’re awesome, you’re doing great stuff. You’re not perfect. But then we women are so not perfect and we’re all in this together just trying to stumble along and make our way. Nobody gives us a handbook and says, “Hey, dude, you got like superpowers and this is how you use them.” That’s why I’m here—to share my wisdom, to give you some tools and tips so you can have a cool life, a great life, and have love and a family and career and serve.
Now, back to anger. Anger is also a cover. When anger becomes toxic, it also becomes a covering and it covers a deep shame and a sense of “I am not enough.” You feel you have to prove yourself being a man. You don’t feel your manhood. You think, “I don’t feel whatever it is I’m supposed to feel. It’s like I’m powerless.” If you look at the people who are committing the greatest violence in the world today, you will see that, ultimately, they feel they have no power in their life. Zero power. Which means that they are completely severed from their purpose, their soul and who they came here to be. And this disconnection gets so profound that it is a mental illness. When someone commits violence they are mentally ill, because the definition of mental illness is being disconnected and unstrung from your humanity, from yourself. You are lost.
Basically, we’re all lost— tragically, some of us more than others. And we are here to find our way back to the center point. To rediscover who we are and why we’re here. What is our purpose?
It is important on this path of purpose that you have fun. It’s important that you play and that we all have fun together. Toxic anger destroys all of that. It is time to take your sword, take that power, turn that sword and become a master, a master swordsman, a master marksman and hit the mark—to be in your true power. Did you know that in the ancient Hebrew language there is no word for sin? Sin as we know it did not exist. Our word “sin” actually comes from the Hebrew root word meaning “to shoot an arrow and to miss the mark.” In other words, the original meaning of “sin” was to make a mistake. Sin was being out of alignment, being off-base, off-center.
This is why having a practice five minutes in the morning and five minutes at night finding your center, reaffirming your purpose, deeply connecting to who you really, saying “I am a man and I am power and my power is the power of love,” is so vitally important. Because love in action is power. It is intoxicating and it can part the Red Sea. And that is who you really are. You are love. And in the core before emotion, before expression, before any feeling happens, that power is there for you to be an emissary—an emissary for all the colors of love in our world. And brother, do we ever need that right now.
So, let’s take a moment and call in healing to wash away all toxic anger, to align ourselves as men and women into the power of love in action, the power of righteousness, righteous anger. And I want to say right now that righteous anger is not the ego. It’s not from the ego. It’s not coming from the petty stance of “I’m right, you’re wrong.” I want to really make that clear. Righteous anger is a higher calling. It is attached to a greater truth. It is the power that says, “I will not back down in the face of adversity. I will not allow someone to be harmed.” Righteous anger is the true energy of a hero. When you hear these stories of heroes, you get that they were in righteous anger. Because it gives them a power to do something greater than they thought they could do.
You didn’t think you could go into that burning building. You didn’t think you could move that car. You didn’t think you could—but you can … because that’s your superpower.
So, now, let’s come into a meditation.
I want you to watch your breath. Now, take deep sigh and let the breath go, and see there, in your heart, a beautiful, beautiful golden orb of light. This golden orb of light is very warm. And if you don’t see it, that’s perfectly fine. Just imagine it is there and feel the beautiful warmth in your heart. Now, we’re going to blow a breath into the globe of light. And this breath is the great light of the Central Sun, the great light of the Creator Adonai, the great light of the Buddha, the light of Moses. Breathe light into this globe and allow this orb in your heart to soften your heart and open your great heart, the Lion Heart, the great heart. Feel that heart, that beautiful power of yours, expanding into your shoulders, into your back. This is your shield of light, the mantle of manhood. And with another breath allow this powerful light, this Shield of Light of your great lion heart to descend down into your solar plexus, and then down into your belly. Feel your belly, your organs, your pelvis fill with this great light like a great, golden planet—a planet of light like Jupiter, the largest planet in our solar system.
Hold the golden light and remember that this light, like the light of the sun, is powerful. The sun gives us life. The sun grows food. We cannot live without the light of our sun. But too much sun and we are burned, we are parched and we die. Your central light, your power must be balanced. So, call, now, on the central pillar of your being—the light at the center of your being—and say “I am balanced. I am the power of love. I am the authority of wisdom. I am compassion, fierce compassion. I am truth. I am man.”
Now, bring your attention to the top of your head where there hovers a crown of light. And this light, this white light from this beautiful crown hovering above you, is shining down rays and rays of beautiful white light. And this white light is grace. Grace. No man has real power without Grace. Grace comes in her mantle of light, sitting upon her throne, pouring the very essence of her being over you, washing over you, washing away all toxic energy, all toxic doubt, shame, and loss, washing away all the negative things anyone has ever told you. Anything negative you have ever felt about yourself and anything negative that does not serve you in your worldview is being washed away.
See this beautiful white light washing through you all the way down through your feet until you are standing in a pool of water. Like smoke, the light just floats out of the bottom of your feet and away … so effortless. Ah! This is Grace!
Grace blesses, washes, cleanses, our body, our mind, our brain, our heart, our soul, our nervous system, our organs, bathing us in light so easily. Take another breath and let it all go … let everything that doesn’t serve you go. This moment is brand-new. This very second you can change the direction of your life to be in perfect alignment with who you really are. In this moment you are yoked and connected to the Great Reality, the divine powerful intelligence, the powerhouse of creation.
Say, “Thank you, Grace! You fulfill me and sustain me! Thank you for empowering me, reconnecting me, and healing me of toxic anger. Thank you for restoring me and rejuvenating me into the righteous passion of my calling. I am a man.”
Now, open your eyes and come back. Take a moment to realize you are breaking the barriers of what we consider time and space, collecting yourself into the unified field of the present now, which is eternal, experiencing the movement and momentum of the new man—the sacred, powerful, strong, vulnerable, weak, compassionate, caring, stoic, masculine energy.