As a mystic, every year I prepare to receive a message from the Divine as to what the New Year’s spiritual energy, task, opening and/or lesson is for us. This vision is aligned with the astrology and the numerology of our given time. However, this year the message came to me in a surprising and unexpected way through the poem, Ash Wednesday , by the great English poet T.S. Elliot. Written in 1930, the verse reveals a mystical vision of our soul’s yearning to understand this earthly existence. As you read along, I encourage you to meet me with an open mind, engage your own mystical self, listen deeply. You too may be surprised by a hidden spiritual message meant personally for you for this upcoming year as we continue our journey into, The Age of Surprise . I would like to start off by sharing a little of my process in how I go about receiving mystical revelation.
For days I go into deep meditation. I descend into the place where my soul and my heart and the heart of creation commune. This practice in mystical Kabbalah is called Kavanah, which means with intention and devotion fully yoke one’s heart to All That Is in deep prayer. I journey and I wait, one day, two days, several weeks and in the case of this year, several months of meditating, going about my daily life, then coming home again meditating on Kavanah, waiting for The Voice.
I am frustrated The Voice is not showing up. Friends try to help, “Make it the year to reconnecting to your heart.” I thought that sounds good enough, but it has to come from God. I must be patient. Patience. Patience. What if God doesn’t speak to me this year? What if I come up empty? The mystery is called the mystery because it comes on its own timetable indifferent to our concept of time and deadlines. I contemplate. Reconnecting to the heart is a pointer, but there is something more I am to know. What is it Great Spirit? What is your message?
I walked over to my bookshelf. I am in the library. My right hand reaches out for a book. An old dusty book, well worn, bought at a used bookstore off of Pearl Street in Boulder, Colorado last winter. The large book is torn, well read by someone other than myself. My hands parting its leaves. My eyes falling onto a page. I read out loud:
And the lost heart stiffens and rejoices
In the lost lilac and the lost sea voices
And the weak spirit quickens to rebel
This is the time of tension between dying and birth
My mind descends into this past year, mud and debris sweeping away the lost sea voices of the Thomas Fire, the shootings, Las Vegas, Thousand Oaks, immigrants fleeing terror, the tension between dying and birth entering more horror – and again more fire, the Butte Fire, the Malibu Fire,
Wavering the profit and the loss
Lost dreams, lost homes, lost lives.
In this brief transit where the dreams cross
Is democracy lost? “What is happening God?” I ask.
I begin to cry. Tears from the exhausted heart. Fatigue stiffens the heart numb. The doorways into the Divine close. A moment of stillness. Then The Voice. Herein lay the vision I had been waiting for. I hadn’t even known how closed down I had become in the trauma. I suppose shock protects us from the truth of a disaster. Outside my window to the mountains, a bobcat on the snow walks slowly towards me. It’s the first time I have seen a bobcat here.
From the wide window towards the granite shore
The white sails still fly seaward, seaward flying
There is hope. The poet/prophet strikes the liberty bell freeing The Voiceto speak,
“Do not lose your heart in the madness that surrounds you lest you stiffen and break, be as supple as the grass.”
For the bent golden rod and the lost sea smell
Quickens to recover
“Find your resilience and carry forward your soul’s purpose for we are at a crossroads where three different realities are intersecting all at once, Heaven, hell and Earth.”
This is the time of tension between dying and birth
The place of solitude where three dreams cross
Between blue rocks
“Be in the place of solitude, serenity and calm as stoic as the Silent Watcher remains constant in the storm. You are now between two encroaching walls, ethics and goodness – lies and deceit. The grand passageway between grace and disassociation. You are a floating ship of possibility charting the unknown. Set sail by destiny – steered not by fate but by your ability to choose good over evil.”
Suffer us not to mock ourselves with falsehood
Teach us to care and not care
Teach us to sit still
Even among these rocks
“Deflate the swelling ego. Do not adhere to revenge. Hold the face of truth uncovered. Even as the old paradigm resists My Light of Change.”
“Question what is real. Do not adhere to what you hear. Instead, ask, “Who has shoved this trash down my gullet?” “ Why this message now?” and, “What is their real purpose?”
The empty forms between the ivory gates
And smell renews the salt savour of the sandy earth
And spirit of the river, spirit of the sea,
Suffer me not to be separated
And let my cry come unto Thee.
“Yoke yourself to me and your soul into the envelopes of surrounding light.” (This is the overlying light of our angelic higher self which we can through prayer and practice merge with.)
“Return to the sacred fountains of My Shekinah (the Divine Feminine Presence). She will heal your broken heart and return you to the still garden of peace.”
“Attain this and I will descend upon your consciousness. Our communion creating the sweetest fragrance, the redeeming salve an end to separation.”
This is what I understood from this dialogue between T.S. Elliot and The Voice of the Divine Presence . We are to persevere with a supple heart, a heart of love to, yes, even the unfolding drama. We will reach the far shore of tolerance one day. But we will have to be patient. Oh yes, patience, patience, understanding and wisdom, loving kindness and strength. All the positions necessary to see our dream for humanity a reality. I invite you to share with me your revelations from this text or any thoughts and interpretations you may have. I look forward!
God Bless you for 2019. I hope this has inspired you for the New Year. You are the light-workers. You are the soldiers of the loving heart. Let us go forth and together make 2019, The Year We Will Re‑Awaken the Healing Power of the Loving Heart.